It is a joy to be hidden and a disaster not to be found”
At first glance, this statement might not seem to make sense. However, if we look a bit more closely, we can see the deep truth found here. Feeling alone, isolated or unknown is not unusual and quite a painful experience. And yet, as we sit in our “aloneness”, we wait for that moment, that person to look at us or say something that will break through and give us that beautiful juicy moment of being seen.
As a psychotherapist who holds a deep belief and trust in the healing power of relationship, I have been witness to these heart opening moments. And I’ve been blessed to be a part of them.
So how do they come about? The relationship develops gradually and over time. I listen carefully to the quiet places inside, underneath the words. I call it “the place before words.” Eugene Ghendlin calls it the “felt sense.” The place that is sometimes hard to find, hear or understand. We gently reach for that place inside you, together. And from there can come those wonderful moments of opening, emergence and forward movement. It is through this process that clients has said, “This is a spiritual place for me. I come here for that.” or “I realize now that there is something to living.” Or a spontaneous moment of sudden laughter and “Oh, you just got me.”
I hope you will give yourself the opportunity to allow for these moments in your life.
Rutie Havazelet, LCSW serves individuals in the following communities: New York metropolitan area including Manhattan, the Bronx, Brooklyn, Queens, Westchester and Long Island.